Pressure.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 at 8:59AM ;)
(click on thumb to see full-size drawing)
Women have this mistaken idea that men are inherently slippery creatures. We are not. The truth is that we have an innate sense of self-preservation & we know PRETTY MUCH INSTANTLY when we have walked into a death cage situation.
For those of you who don't know, a death cage is when they put two trained street fighters in a huge metal cage & only one of them walks out alive. It is an appropriate metaphor for certain phases of a relationship. The only difference is that in relationship both people walk out alive, more or less, one of them glaze-eyed & limping & the other marching ahead stiffly, carrying his testicles in her purse. :-)
So, I'd say we're not really all that slippery. Because we're not actually thinking of it as lying. Lying takes much more focus & intent. We're thinking of it as a diversionary tactic, as keeping you busy with a random conversation, while we frantically look for any method of escape. That would explain the furtive glances...
Just thought I'd let you know the truth, so you can cut us a little slack. :-)
Reader Comments (4)
so that's what my son is doing? the truth is easier, then you don't have to remember the lie until your deathbed.
Oh, I agree. The truth is always easier. Lies are like little bacteria that continue to quietly multiply until they're ready to overwhelm the host body. But that's hard won knowledge & I'd have to say it took me a good amount of time when I was younger to come to that place.
When I look at my life, I think the watershed was understanding that I was going to die. I could be anxious about it, or I could embrace it. Once I embraced it, I found there was less reason to lie. Because after all, I was going to be dead some day & none of it would matter. It may sound simplistic, but it is quite profound. I think more than half of our usual internal tension IS the anxiety over what I call the Little Deaths: the loss of your tenuous hold on your personal power (especially facing a parent), a crack in your evanescent reputation/self-image, etc. Facing the Big Death puts all those Little Deaths in quick perspective..
Then again, it might just be him having fun in the death cage. If that's the case, then all bets are off...
with love, Brian
I love this one!
I'm actually in that stage of the relationship now and I have to say its definitely no fun- he thinks I'm the slippery creature.
Get a Death Cage t-shirt, Nikki. Wear it often. It'll clarify things for him immensely.. :-)
with love, Brian